The Revolutionary Act of Putting Yourself First

For many of us (especially those raised as girls, as first-generation Americans, or with certain cultural expectations), self-prioritization can feel almost… forbidden. So, here are some simple ways to start practicing it without too much guilt:

Start with small, non-negotiable moments: Block 15 minutes each day that belong only to you. Maybe it’s morning coffee in silence, a quick walk around the block, or just sitting in your car before entering the house after work. Protect this time like you would a meeting with your boss.

Reframe “selfish” as “self-full”: When guilt does creep in, remember that filling your own cup first means you have more to give others—not less. Think about how flight attendants tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first, ¿verdad? There’s wisdom there!

Practice saying “let me think about it”: We people-pleasers often default to immediate “yes” responses. Buy yourself time by making “let me check and get back to you” your new automatic reply. This simple buffer creates space to check in with yourself, and might be easier than saying “no” (we can work our way there).

Recuerda, prioritizing yourself isn’t something you master overnight—it’s a practice. And like any new skill, it feels uncomfortable at first. That discomfort? It’s a sign of growth, not selfishness 😉

Last month, I finally went to my ObGyn because something just felt off with my body. Although I had hoped I was just being silly, it turned out I was right! They found a hormone imbalance that needs further analysis, so I’ll be chatting with an endocrinologist in a few weeks, in addition to more tests and consults with my primary care doctor.

Initially I took the news in stride, but not too long after I was near tears in a conference room. When I really reflected on this, I realized I’ve been pushing through pain signals for years—not just physical ones. Emotional exhaustion, mental burnout, spiritual disconnection… I’ve treated them all as inconveniences to overcome rather than messages to heed.

As the eldest daughter in my family, I learned to be the responsible one, la que siempre tiene todo bajo control. When my parents needed help with paperwork, I was there. When my siblings needed advice, I dropped everything. When friends were in crisis, I became their rock. And somehow, along the way, I internalized the idea that my own needs were… optional.

My recent health struggles have become impossible to ignore, forcing me to ask uncomfortable questions: Why is it so hard for me to prioritize my health? Why did I wait for something to be off to take action? Why am I less important to myself than others?

I’m learning that prioritizing myself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. It’s not just about saying “no” to others more often; it’s about saying “yes” to myself first.

This journey isn’t linear, and I still struggle daily, but I’m committed to this practice of treating myself with the same care and consideration I so readily offer others. What I’m discovering is that when I truly listen to my own needs, I show up as a more present, energized, and authentic version of myself in all my relationships.